From Freud to Fitness

I have shocking news that will revolutionize the world of fitness!

I don't. I've just managed to loose about 5 pounds in 2 weeks by counting calories/macros while lifting only. 

I am proud of this accomplishment, especially since working out is a formal commitment; I am committed to 63 hours per week (class, research, practicum), plus about 20 hours a week of homework outside of class. Three 15 hour days are exhausting - mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, basically all of the "ally"'s. It's not even 15 at one site. I travel across Chicagoland, from north, to west, to central, back north, and I have to be on my game everywhere I go. I'm literally diagnosing people at my practicum, under supervision of course, so what I do actually matters in the long-term of people's lives. By Friday I have very little brain capacity left. Yesterday I tried to get extra vinegar and easy oil on my sandwich as subway, but couldn't get out the words. "Extra oil. Easy vinegar. No. That's not right. Extra oil. Wait, no. Extra oil. Shit. No..."

While my current schedule is beyond draining, I genuinely believe lifting has helped me regain my sanity and provides some emotional stability. I have next to no control over so many things, and normal life responsibilities float over my head relentlessly. A friend had planned to come into town this weekend for the holiday and I had to tell him I couldn't host. I felt terrible, but I have 3 out of town weddings in 4 weeks, one of which I am in. This week, I'm helping at a huge memorial day event on Sunday, and have to somehow finish 3 weeks worth of assignments. Sorry to dump all my baggage. I'm going somewhere with this I promise. 

Ironically, committing time to the gym (and the occasional blog) makes managing time easier. Furthermore, I believe my cognitive lapse at Subway would be far more common without the beautiful grounding provided by the gym. I have the science to support this claim too. Ready?

1.) Exercise increases body temperature, which is associated with prolonged periods of deep sleep (stage 3 and 4). Deep sleep is associated with cognitive and muscular recovery, and memory storage. By the transitive property, working out helps me retain information learned at practicum and in class, and helps me stay focused/functional during the day. 

2.) Biologically, the human body operates in cycles. Most know of the 24 hour circadian rhthym (this is approximate, it's really 22-26 in humans). However, we have shorter cycles too, which is why most of us experience a slump circa 2pm and we're told to get up and move around every 90 minutes or so. When working for long periods of time, like the 12+ hour day I have today of studying, taking a solid break is actually associated with increased productivity overall. I recently read an article, which reflected many, many others I have read, of the importance of recovery time for mental processes. Instead of cramming work into the hour break I have on some of my 15 hour days, I've decided to use my school's "fitness" room, which is basically a small dance/yoga studio, and creatively fit in my workout for the day. Recharge mentally for class to follow. 

3.) Recharge mentally? Grounding in the present. This is a basic tenet of Mindfulness. Perhaps you've seen this word on adult coloring books in the check out isle. Basically, Mindfulness operates on the same principles known for years, just called different things depending. The idea is that we all have so much shit to worry about, to dwell/ruminate on, to stress over, etc. that our bodies and minds need a break from it all. Instead of living and focusing in the past or future, take some time in the present. Mindfulness is a fancy word meaning focus on one thing in the present, that's it. It can be coloring, okay, or meditation, watching breathing, playing sports, exercising, whatever works. If you've ever called IT, you know their advise is to turn it off and back on. I turn my brain off for an hour and lift heavy things. 

4.) The endorphin release during exercise produces an analgesic effect, which creates the sensation of pleasure through, or covering, the experience of pain. Other feel good neurotransmitters are released, probably through the pride and general bad-assidry associated with working out (I am fairly confident I know which neurotransmitters are involved in this process, but why risk saying something incorrectly when anyone who happens to stumble on here probably doesn't care). Basically, most of the time, a workout will leaving you feeling happier, prouder, and more bad ass than you felt before. Happy people do good work. 

5.) Speaking of self-perception, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. With the advent of social media and smart technology, we have more means and access to the best parts of other people. I will note that I particularly hate Instagram because I feel my friends who post regularly are too busy getting the right photo to actually enjoy what they're doing. Despite the quality of living being leaps and bounds better than any other period in history, people are significantly less happy, more depressed, more anxious, and more self-harming. Why are we surprised by this? I love lifting because your only competition is yourself. Even those who compete have to see themselves as winners; I know that statement sounds cheesy, but if you've ever seen what a bodybuilding competition looks like, you'd understand. They all look unbelievably incredible. Frankly, when I look at a magazine when I'm in a fitness slump, I think wow. I'll never look like them. When I look at a magazine when I'm consistently working out and eating well I become indifferent to the pictures, or motivated by fit people. I'm doing what I can to be healthy. There's literally nothing else I can do, aside from tweaking things. I have found myself on facebook far, far less. I just don't care. 

In summary, I'm happier and more productive, I retain information better, and my body feels better. I started this blog post mentioning weight loss and didn't touch on it since. As exciting as it is to see the scale go down, knowing I'm building muscle (achieving the elusive lean gain, fat loss objective), that's honestly only a bonus. 

(((Side note - Being active on Body Space, Bodybuilding.com's "social media" site has been extremely helpful for me. It has the opposite effect as other social media sites. It leaves me feeling encouraged and motivated. I strongly recommend it)))

Army Strong ...Eventually.

After years of talking about it (10.5 to be exact), I now am officially a commissioned officer in the United States Army. Hooah!

I am honored to report that I was selected for the prestigious HPSP (Health Professionals Scholarship Program) award, meaning I will be a "selective reservist" for the next two years, defend my dissertation, go to BOLC (Basic Officer Leadership Course), [hopefully] pass the EPPP (licencing exam), train in specialty courses, including SERE (Survival, Evasion, Resistance, and Escape), and continue my  minimum three-year commitment as an active duty Clinical Psychologist. Enough acronyms for you?


Amidst all the celebrating (this really is a life-changing type of deal), my recruiter informed me I'd be doing a new type of physical they were testing. Instead of push-ups, sit-ups, and pull-ups, I did functional tasks like throwing a medicine ball, long jump, dead-lifts, and sprints. The first tasks were no problem. I even had a one rep max of 190 for DL, which isn't too bad considering I hadn't been doing any serious weight training.

Then the sprints.

Need I say more? Pathetic. Fortunately, it was "research," not for qualifying, but yeah, I would've failed. Hard.

I will beat it of course. The task of running back and forth, trying to beat the next beep... well it got me this time, but I won't be had again.

The problem is this "fat skinny" girl is no longer living up to her name. I have to admit I'm pretty much just an overweight girl now, logging in at 170, and less of it is muscle than I'd like to admit. 4 doctoral classes, practicum applications, creating a 150 page binder of death proving I've learned something this year, no sleep, 20-24 hours a week doing diagnostic work at a in-patient psychiatric unit, doing research one day a week at a local hospital, and trying to you know, eat or be social ever, all combined to create the perfect storm of an impossible, survival-mode semester. There are some other very serious things going on in my family too (f cancer).

In short, I don't blame myself.

I do, however, put some blame on this one company who I will not name since I'm associating myself with the Army in this post. Now, I am not usually a product basher, and I will gush over products I like (looking at you Coldeeze), but I have no problem criticizing this company. They are marketed as a meal delivery service that provides healthy options of protein and veggies in individually wrapped portions. It was recommended to me, and as a single grad student struggling to find time to blink, I thought it may be worth a try. Using a promotion I got a very good rate and even got free breakfasts thrown in. All and all I was saving time, money, and getting healthy options in the process. Win-win-win.

Wrong. I noticed I started gaining weight, but of course with so much going on it could easily be stress. Yet the weight gain did not stop, even as the workouts increased. So, I did what I should've done from the beginning: I looked up the nutrition facts. One tiny little mini omelet and sausage (surely turkey healthy sausage right?) contained 400 calories and 35g of fat. In context, that's at least half of my daily fat allowance. And it's tiny! They gave me specialty butters, which I naively assumed were like "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" and didn't think much of it. The instructions said I could have as much of them as I wanted! Notice the lack of carbs here (I was supplementing carbs on my own). This is the Adkins diet. 100%. No thank you. I was probably getting over 100g of fat ON A DAILY BASIS. No wonder I gained weight.

So now I'm back, as I often start, doing Jamie Eason's Live Fit training schedule. It simply works for me. Focusing on lifting, then introducing cardio, then more dynamic work outs just makes sense for my body type and what I like / can realistically commit to. When I'm in a hurry (ha, aka every day), I can manage to squeeze in her hour-long plan in as little as 30 minutes. I like that I don't have to plan what I'm doing, and I know that I'm hitting every area.

This time I'm using Body Space (2014dawn) to track my workouts, instead of a journal, to hold myself accountable. At most, I can only do 4 days a week because of my three 15 hour days each week this semester. I may not be doing the calendar exactly, but I'm doing it all the same.

When I'm done I'm going full Navy Seal training, using their integrated program to include sprints, endurance, HIIT, and strength. It's a solid layout, even if modified for my impossible schedule.

I'm also using my fitness pal (lisadisa) to keep track of general calories / macros. I made the settings based on what I know to be realistic for me, especially now that they let you set grams instead of percentages. No plan calls for 30% 30% 30%, but that's basically what mine is. I should probably cut down on fat, but this is about starting consistent, not depriving myself. Plus, my body will probably be on withdrawal after all that fat courtesy of the product that must not be named on this blog.

I'll be back on here too. It amps me up and motivates me to press on. With hard work and perseverance I am confident I can be the fat-skinny girl once more, and maybe, one day, really be what I would consider Army Strong. 💪