I Got 99 Problems, but a Bench Ain't One.

The Festivus in July (see what I did there?) will begin with the airing of grievances. 

I got a lot of problems and you're all going to hear about it. 

1.) If planet fitness has a bigger weight section than you, just close shop now. Thanks.

2.) Working out on the road is difficult. You put all this effort into traveling, you want to make the most of your time exploring and/or being social. This past week I went to Soccorro New Mexico for a work training. I didn't know anyone and wanted to make friends fast... but there was the gym calling my name. Fortunately, I was able to combine the three and went running with a group of guys through the mountains. Score. That only lasted a day though. They just wanted to drink the other days. Can't say I blame them. 

3.) Speaking of drinking, it's really depressing that alcohol packs so many empty calories. I've cut back a lot, but I really miss my glass (or bottle) of wine at night, my craft beers, and my good old whiskey.

4.) Cookies are way too delicious. Especially when you're sitting in training all day and need a midday pick-me-up. Take it from me, apples, protein bars, and hard boiled eggs don't cut it. Not when there's cookies around the corner. (I only had one cookie and 1/2 a pastry from the snack table this past week in NM. Will power!) 

5.) I understand why Achilles was taken out by being shot in the heel. Seriously, that hurts! My right leg, just under the calf, starting bothering me yesterday at the gym. Pretty sure I've strained my Achilles tendon. Great. This probably means I need to start stretching more.

6.) I have a love hate relationship with stretching. On the one hand, I love doing it. On the other, I always run out of time and forget to do it in the car, shower, or wherever I tell myself it'll happen. One day I stretched in the sauna and it was heavenly. Basically hot yoga without all the creepers. But seriously, ain't nobody got time for that. 

And now as Festivus rolls on, we come to the feats of strength.

I guess everyone has their best lift. Mine is definitely not squats. I struggle to get down to 90 degrees without any weight, let alone with a loaded up bar. It's just not natural. I'm not saying I'm alone in this, it's just that other things came so much easier. Bench presses, for example, are like second nature and always have been. I asked for a spot from a rando yesterday for the first time because I knew exactly how much I could do and I knew it would be a struggle. I have no such sense of clarity when it comes to squats. So that's the mission. Learn how to do a freaking squat so I'm not one of those top heavy triangle people you see. >>>

Stop crying and fight your father. 

Fear Factor

Flash back a few years:

I'm nervously following my good friend Kate through a sea of benches and free weights in the RPAC (Ohio State's main gym). She acts like this is nothing, as if she doesn't notice the curious glances from the men we pass. We walk up to a machine I can only describe as a "cage," she loads on some heavy weights, and starts busting out squats. Then it's my turn. I can't believe what I'm doing... am I even allowed over here?

Back to the present:

Last week I learned how to properly do a clean and press, I maxed my bench out at 115, and I started an "expert" level program from bodybuilding.com. But pshhh, it 'aint no thang.

But really, it isn't that big of a deal. A quick glance back at the entry titled "Throwing up at the Jym" will show that I was pretty nervous about the program, but I've knocked out four days already and am going strong. I've even kept up with the macros fairly well!

I used to say that Kate could go into the weight room "without fear" and it was such a novel, impressive trait. Now I don't even think twice about it. When I was trying out Lifetime, the sales rep saw me jumping rope in the weights area. He quickly ran over, really worried that I had been forced there for lack of space elsewhere. No, I had to explain, I'm just doing an active rest in between sets. Boom.

I wonder what my past self would say about the present version? Past Lisa would probably judge the present one.

But who cares? That Lisa thought 30 minutes of moderate intensity elliptical time could justify a 36 oz jumbo margarita, bottomless chips, and a fajita dinner loaded with sour cream. Cazuelas, my college pregaming hot spot, I will always love you for your $7.99 giant margarita gifts to humanity. But I've moved on.

I am now a creatine taking, protein packing, macros counting, workout machine that steams right into the weight room "without fear." (rocking my cute pink tennis shoes and headband of course.)

Bubbly about Try

WARNING: Sappy female cliche body image post - had to do it though.

Just want to give props to Colbie Caillat for her new video 'Try.'

Body image is an issue that 100% of my female friends have dealt with. I work out to eat because I love food more than just about anything and could never part from it. Sadly, I know way too many people who have tried, or are currently on, crazy extreme diets just to get thin. Heck, despite my obsession with eating, I've done a crazy thing or two (darn you hydroxycut and your mood swinging ways). And it's not just girls. Worse, many of these men and women look fantastic and are likely suffering from body dysmorphia. Sometimes I wonder if I deal with it too. I think we all probably do to some degree, at least at some point. 

Colbie Caillat's 'Try' video shows various women singing the lyrics to her new song. The words are powerful: "When you're all alone, by yourself, do you like you? .... You don't have to try so hard. You don't have to bend until you break"

The women all start with copious amounts of makeup and through the course of the video, remove the weaves, the wigs, the make-up, etc. and are natural. 

Okay don't get me wrong, I love make-up. I really, really love make-up. I love putting it on and experimenting.

The reason this song is so powerful is that it encourages people to like who they are, where they are, in the now. You don't have to be satisfied! You can always want more. That's where lifting comes in for me. But, just because I have goals for an improved me, doesn't mean I should dislike who I am in the process of getting there. 

Food for thought. Thanks Colbie. 

If anyone's interested:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXoZLPSw8U8

Throwing Up at the Jym

I am starting Jim Stoppani's Six Weeks to Shred fat burning program today. Kind of terrified - it's pretty legit. However, after a lot of searching and planning, I felt like this was a good fit for me. I had considered just doing my own thing, instead of starting another program, but I think I need one big push before I get to that point. Jamie Eason's program got me going and motivated, but I know I could've seen more improvement. I didn't really follow her diet plan, I just made an attempt at eating better. I cheated a lot. Like... a lot. I'm going to do my best to follow Jim's guidelines and actually attempt the macros. All workouts aside, I feel like if I actually stick to an eating plan I'd see pretty remarkable results because my body wouldn't know what to do with itself. It'll start wondering where all the ice cream and french fries have gone and hopefully start devouring the fat around my tummy out of spite.

I went ahead and bought the "Pre-Jym" mix that costs an arm and a leg, but only has 20 servings worth. Boo. I was totally a sucker for advertising; the more Jim talked about the science behind his products, the more convinced I became that you'd be an absolute fool not to buy them. Let's face it, talk nerdy to me and I melt. I probably should've checked out some of the studies he cited and looked for empirical data that backs his claims, but that advertising was too dang good.

By buying this expensive product with zero dollars to my name, I will be trying creatine out for the first time. Man, s*** just got real. I know creatine isn't like a steriod or anything, and it can actually be used to treat depression and all sorts of medical issues, but it kind of feels like I'm going to be popping roids now.  If I start looking like she-man in a few weeks, anyone who reads this blog will know why.

However, I may not have the opportunity to make it that far. After looking over some of the comments on the Day 1 work out page, I've come to the conclusion that this program is going to kill me. Several people talked about nausea and one dude even threw up at the gym! He actually had to run out of the weight room and get sick into the sink because he couldn't make it to the stalls. This is my future ladies and gentlemen, in T minus 1 hour.

So blogging world, if I kick the bucket today here are my final words: it will be a pleasure to know I was killed in the pursuit of a good chest, tris and abs.

Here we go. Day 1.


***UPDATE***
There actually were a few moments I felt queasy. I was doing pretty well till I hit the dips and my first rep started to bring up that expensive PreJym supp. Overall though, it's a great program and I'm really happy I'm doing it. I mean, the amount of sweat on my body puts Niagra Falls to shame, but that's attractive right?

Best News Ever.

According to Jim Stoppani, a little bit of glucose on your way out of the gym is actually beneficial to work out recovery!

"...after a workout you need to supplement with high-glycemic carbs to replenish glycogen. That way you'll have enough energy for your next workout. I recommend gummy bears and Wonka Pixy Stix because they are mainly made of glucose, which your body easily turns into glycogen.
These carbs will also quickly spike your insulin levels and drive nutrients into your hungry muscles. This helps with recovery, repair, and muscle growth. Another great and easy option is pure dextrose powder."

Did he just say to eat gummy bears?? This guys is full of crap right? What crazy site is this dude from?

Bodybuilding.com actually. And he's got quite the resume:

PhD: Exercise physiology with a minor in biochemistry - University of Connecticut.
Post Doc:  John B. Pierce Laboratory and Department of Cellular and Molecular Physiology - Yale University School of Medicine

For more:
http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/jim-stoppani.htm
http://www.jimstoppani.com/more-workout

I think most of us know that you need protein after a workout to rebuild the muscles you've torn (<- not an injury, your muscle tears when you lift and the rebuilding is what adds size). But simple carbs like sugar?? I have actually heard the phrase “replenish your glycogen” quite a bit in my life. My dad is a research professor at OSU in the human nutrition department and any time eating was delayed following a work out he’d impatiently whine that he had to replenish his glycogen… like I had any idea what that meant. Eventually I started saying it too. Still didn't know what it means.

Still don’t really fully understand it, but what I do know is that it’s an excuse to indulge in something sweet!

Okay, not really, because if you do a protein powder that has some sugar you may have gotten what you need.

But still.

**Addendum made on 1/9/18: following my post entitled "Sweet Science" it is worth noting the difference between glucose and other forms of sugar. I was glad to look back and see that I had specified which form of sugar was recommended. Fructose, for example, will not have this same effect.

The Post-Holiday Push

Calories don't count on holidays. I am certain of this.

However, indulging in whatever happens to come your way during the weekend comes at a cost (yes, the 4th fell on a Friday this year, but it's a whole weekend thing. Let's throw in Thursday too for kicks). The price I mentioned has nothing to do with the extra calories you've packed in, forget about those. You've earned it! If you put on an extra pound who cares? Yes, I'm saying who cares!

The real trouble is getting back into the routine of diet and exercise. It takes a lot of time and effort to get into these good habits and I feel like it breaks down once you get a big taste of whatever your vice may be. Mine's craft beers and bear claws. Choosing a nice thick porter over the watered down taste of a Yingling Light felt amazing and seriously Panera's bear claws should be illegal...



Side note - I recognize these aren't fourth of July-ish type treats so let me clarify: I also consumed plenty of things under the traditional umbrella of hot dogs, apple pie, and freedom. 'Murica.
 


Having acknowledged this struggle, I can embrace how ridiculous it is. No bear claw, no matter how delicious, leaves me feeling the way a work out does. I almost said 'no food tastes as good as skinny feels' to quote the highly controversial statement made famous by the model Kate Moss. While this quote has anorexia undertones, it can be taken another way - the way I use it. Healthier choices and balanced diets leave me feeling amazing. Throw exercise into the mix and you have an endorphin packed, well fueled, happy body. And man, let's not forget the self-confidence boost when you put on clothing and it fits better than it ever has before. Better yet, the feeling when the clothes fit worse because they're just too big now. Amazing.

Bear claws of the world, you will be missed. But your high sugar content leaves me with an insulin spike that's just not worth it.

Grilled chicken, eggs, rice, and veggies.... I'm back!

Proteins, and carbs, and fats, oh my!

What should my specific macros look like for fat loss?

• According to IIFYM (http://iifym.com/iifym-calculator/])
• My total caloric use is: 2276
• Calories to consume for fat loss: 1821
• Carbs: 195.5g
• Protein: 151g
• Fat: 48.3g

• According to MacroFit (http://macrofit.com/macro-calculator/)
• My total caloric use is: 2371
• Calories to consume for fat loss: 2134
• Carbs: 187g
• Protein: 160g
• Fat: 83g

• According to Body Building (http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/ask-the-ripped-dude-magical-macronutrient-ratio-for-fat-loss.html) and (http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/issa64.htm)
• My total caloric use is: 2457
• Calories to consume for fat loss: 1821
• Carbs: 114g
• Protein:159g
• Fat: 81g

• According to My Fitness Pal (http://www.myfitnesspal.com/account/new_goals)
• My total caloric use is: ----
• Calories to consume for fat loss: 1451
• Carbs: 150g
• Protein:60g
• Fat: 40g

WHAAAAAAAAT?????

The Fat Skinny Girl

They told me I could be anything!

But I will never be the skinny-fat girl. Ever. Even if skinny fatness was my life's passion, I could not, no matter how hard I tried, diet my way to thin. Okay, maybe I could... but realistically my bone structure, my genetics, and quite frankly, my will power, make it highly unlikely.

What I can be, on the other hand, is a fat-skinny and let me tell you, I'm good at being that.

Before I go on, let's break it down:

Our weight is only one piece of a much bigger puzzle. Sure, it shows you mass (unless you're cool enough to be in space), which can be a decent estimate of your general health. For example, if you're a 300 pound female, you've got some work to do. HOWEVER, weight can be very, very deceptive. I REPEAT!!! Don't trust the scale, especially if you're eating well and working out consistently. And definitely don't trust the scale if you've started lifting.

So what can you trust? Well, I'd love to say that there's an easy, super reliable system. But there's not. Taking measurements is a great way to track progress, but you have to be careful to measure in the exact same place each time; the area above and below your belly button are going to give you very different numbers. Also, if you're trying to burn off fat by building muscle (a great strategy by the way), you might not see the numbers drop as much as you'd like because hey, you're building up some guns!

Body fat percent is an even better mark of progress, in my humble opinion, but it can be tricky. Unless you have a  Hydrostatic Underwater Weighing devise lying around, it will be difficult to find an accurate percentage. Your best bet is to go into the gym and see if they've got something that tests it electronically. My gym, LA Fitness, has little hand held devises sitting out by the offices. I was told they were pretty accurate: only a 3% variance in either direction a.k.a. 6% variance a.k.a. not accurate at all. Cool. But since these things are calibrated, hopefully, using the same one each time will probably give you proportionate numbers. Therefore if during week 1 your reading says 35.4%, and week 12 says 24.3%, it is not unreasonable to announce proudly on Facebook that you dropped your body fat percent by 11.1%!!! ...Or maybe it is and I should stop posting things on social media.

Any way, back to the skinny-fat, fat-skinny discussion.

Some people look really skinny, but awkwardly still have cellulite and get out of breath walking from the couch to their potato chips in the kitchen. These people kill me. Either they are ungodly lucky and have the metabolism of a vacuum, or they diet like crazy and posses a will power I will never understand. These people look fit, but aren't. Just because they're skinny, doesn't mean they're healthy. Low weight, high body fat percent. Not good.

I on the other hand, seem perpetually locked into this 160 pound body. That's pretty heavy for a 5'5" girl. No, doctors aren't running in telling me I'm in danger and must loose weight ASAP to survive, and no little kid is going to point at me and say, "hey look at the fat girl mommy," but 160 isn't light.

I am a much, much healthier 160 now than I was 3 months ago however. As eluded to before, my body fat percent was 35.4 and now it's reading around 24.3! Clearly a lot of the old fat got burned off and replaced by some kick ass muscle. Even at my heaviest though, I had signs of a 6-pack. No, I'm not kidding, I had four chubby little squares that bulged out and there were clearly defined lines forming the rest. Instead of one pudge hanging under my belly button, I had two. It was weird. Now that I've dropped some of "the blerch" as the Oatmeal (look him up) likes to call it, I look slightly less odd. Hurray!

And so that's me. I'm the fat-skinny girl. And I'm pretty freaking proud of it.

And Let Me Introduce to You, the One and Only Lisa D.

Hello. 

My name is Lisa and I like to lift.